Understanding a Woman…..

When it comes to dating and relationships, men often face immense difficulty in trying to understand a woman’s feelings and emotions. It is true they think differently than men. Our thought patterns are quite linear and straightforward, but the thought process of a woman takes much more into consideration. Both men and women have the same basic needs. Even though in a different way, we all crave for similar things.

One thing you need to understand about attraction is, men are visually stimulated, that is, they are often attracted by physical appearance, at least at the initial stage. When they start dating, men don’t pay much attention to other aspects of a woman’s personality.

But it is a different case altogether when it comes to women. They are emotionally stimulated. I’m not saying that they aren’t attracted by physical appearance, but for them that is only a small part. Whether they actually like you or not, solely depends on your character, that is, how you make them feel.

Of course there are some exceptions for this theory, mostly teenagers. Especially when they are visually attracted, they will try to project a imaginary character with all the ideal qualities onto that particular man to whom she is visually attracted to. That is, if she has a crush on a very good looking boy, she will force her mind to think that he has all the good qualities that she needs in a man even though he may not have them.

We all know that any pretty face is enough to attract a man. But attracting a woman? That is a little more difficult. Your physical appearance or any of your other physical attributes are not enough for that ( they are needed, but are secondary ). You will have to invest some effort on an emotional level. How you connect with them emotionally will make all the difference, no matter your physique.

Women take relationships more seriously than men, so whenever you try to ask out a woman, put some thought into it. Are you ready for a commitment?

The reason why thought patterns of each woman is different is because her thoughts are shaped by how she was brought up, the mindset of the society, her parents, her childhood. These factors greatly influence how she thinks. So it is impossible to collectively understand women. If you are interested in a particular woman, and you want to understand her, then you need to get to know her on an emotional level, and this requires time in months if not years. You must learn to accept her for who she is and never try to change her. Only then can you earn her trust. Like I said, her attraction toward you depends on how you make her feel. If you can form that emotional connection, then she will start falling for you. But to do this, you need patience. Get to know everything about her, her hobbies, her childhood, etc. that will help you in understanding her.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that all women are similar. They are not. Each one is unique, with her own interests and goals. So just because you have figured out one woman doesn’t mean you have figured out all of them. If you want to understand a woman you must start from scratch.

Communication is very essential in understanding a woman. Don’t think that showing off in front of her will get you anywhere. They don’t think like boys. If you want to understand a woman, then you must make the effort of getting to know her. You need to communicate with her. You need to ask her about her childhood ( If she doesn’t want to share, then don’t press her. She might have her own reasons ), her interests, her hobbies, her career goals, her aim in life, her fears. These factors play a major role in her thought patterns. As you get to know these things about her, you will slowly start understanding her.

Here are a few very important things that you need to know about women.

Women remember everything. They have greater memory, especially if you say something hurtful. So be very careful when you communicate with a woman. She is gonna store that memory in her arsenal for later use. Like I said before, their thoughts are not linear like men, and according to them, every stupid thing that you say will have a inner meaning. Even if you say something without realizing it, she is going to remember that. The only way to iron out any misunderstanding is constant communication.

Whenever you approach a woman with an emotional and sensitive subject, rethink the conversation at least five times before you start talking. Because, whenever the emotional alarm bell rings in her head, she will start breaking down each of your sentences and analyzing them. So be a little careful when you say something to her.

Women don’t make the first move. If you like her, then it’s up to you to make the first move. They will never make the first move,( except in some very rare cases ) because they have a greater fear of rejection than you. A woman’s thoughts are directly connected to her emotions and hence a rejection will destroy her confidence and security. And upon that she needs to feel desirable, and hence you will have to make the first move.

Women don’t want you to solve their problems. They are more than capable to solve their own problems. All they need is someone who can stand by them and support them in their time of difficulty.

Women want to feel desirable. Never ever criticize her appearance or clothing. She has enough insecurities already without you adding to them. She needs a gentleman who compliments her, not some stupid blockhead who drags her down. If you want to be on her good side, then you need to give her the attention she deserves.

Women need someone to comfort them. Whenever she is upset or in a bad mood, there is a valid reason for that, and she needs you to comfort her. Be there for her, only then can you expect her to be loyal to you. If you are not there for her when she needs you, then you sure as hell don’t deserve her.

Women value honesty. Try to be honest with her. Even if you kiss another women, just tell her and try to make it up to her. She might forgive you for kissing another woman, but if you lie and she finds out on her own, you will never be forgiven.

Women don’t like selfish men. Women usually don’t like selfish men. They will evaluate whether you are good for them or not based on how kind and considerate you are toward others.

Women like listeners. Whenever she starts talking about something, don’t act like a stuck up idiot. She has feelings too. Just listen to her. Involve yourself in the conversation, no matter what it is. Make her feel happy.

Women like to drop hints. This is where most men fail. Some will be able to pick up on their hints, but most of them will be clueless. The next time she says something cryptic, it means she needs something from you. Better keep a lookout for those hints, eh? And one more thing. If she is upset over something and says “Leave me alone”, or “I don’t want to speak with you”, she doesn’t really mean that. So don’t make the mistake of actually leaving her alone. That will only make her feel worse. Instead you can go and comfort her. She will act angry for a while, but she will be happy that you care about her.

A decent woman doesn’t give a shit about your appearance and status as much as your character. This is one area where men utterly fail. We often think women are attracted by beauty and spend shitload of time trying to improve our appearance and physique, without giving a least bit of attention toward our character. A woman doesn’t care what you drive or what you wear. She only cares about your character, because, like I said before, they are emotionally stimulated. If you are confident and take care of the situation, if she feels protected, then in her eyes, you are the alpha male. So even if you are insecure, act confident in front of her. Instead of working on your face, work on your character. It will be hundred times more effective than your appearance. Outer appearance is just an entry ticket. To win the prize, you need to have a good character. You have to make her feel desired. You must be emotionally fulfilling. Without a good character, outer appearance is of no use. People might buy a book with an attractive cover, but if they don’t like the content, they won’t bother to read any further.


Blog post by:
A. Royden D’souza
Author of ‘The Atlantis Saga’
Official Website: www.shadythree.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/shadythree


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